It’s mid-day, all curled up in a bed
It’s rare of me to be outside
I’d rather play, shoot my friends in the head
Feed my need to compete, online
I’ll keep on going through the motions
Suck down carbonated potions
Be a role-playing machine
Fueled by sucralose and caffeine
Want to believe it gives me wings
When actually they’re being clipped
With every pack and every can
And every gulp and every sip

It’s on the others
To motivate and keep me active
It’s on the others
To find me love, find me attractive
It’s on the others
To kiss and bottle feed, coddle me
While I’m crying and whining
Over my colossus of losses:
All the time I’ve wasted playing video games

Slayer, I live for multiplayer
Feel empowered by increasing ranks
Status: “I’M ON A ROLL IN MADDEN!”
No time to shower off the grease and stank
To think of all the years evolving
Leaps and bounds in new technology
Gave virtual lobotomies
To every button-pressing glutton
Anti-social shut-ins got a wheel inside their cage
Now free to jump, now free to duck
Now free to run in place

It’s on the others
To motivate and keep me active
It’s on the others
To find me love, find me attractive
It’s on the others
To kiss and bottle feed, coddle me
While I’m crying and whining
Over my colossus of losses:
All the time I’ve wasted playing video games

They’re games, just games

We’ll never suffer defeat
We’d rather not take the risk
And be devoid of all feelings
We’ll never really achieve
Our histories’ on a disk
Forever spinning, ever reeling

It’s on the others
To motivate and keep you active
It’s on the others
To find you love, find you attractive
It’s on the others
To kiss and bottle feed, coddle you
While you’re crying and whining
Over your colossus of losses:
All the time you’re wasting playing video fucking games